Please help

So today was ok second day of work all the baby's and that made me what to holed my so much but I still have to wait awhile. But after a little like when the kids started cry when I was playing with them it made me feel bad and like I'm going to be a shit mum and I can help but feel like that's true and that she would be better of without me. Every time I have to get down on the ground and play I struggle and I can't do so much be it's so risky or I'm to fat to and I absolutely hate it but o love my job so much but for some reason it also make me feel so bad about me like all the little ones are judging me and there parents. And I just feel like I should go jump off a bridge